04- That Dry Feeling


Allen leans back from his computer screen. He seems unfulfilled & unhappy. 

Have you had times where you felt that something was going to make you feel great but you felt empty and unfulfilled afterwards? What was it and why do you think it left you feeling that way?

Do you sometimes feel you're looking for something, but you're not sure what that is?

If you found that what you thought you were looking for was still not filling that gap even when you found it - what do you think you're really looking for?


Guidance Notes

I have heard from someone that: "every man who knocks on a brothel's door is looking for God". As I started on this journey, I could not make a lot of sense out of this statement. But the more I began looking at my own life and realized that the times where I'm most vulnerable were the times I was really feeling the emptiness from not having an intimate relationship with God. 

The main problem I found with this state of Spiritual Dryness is that you forget what it feels like to be filled. That means you forget what you've lost and you don't know what you're looking for to get it back. The result is that you end up "wandering the desert" looking for something to perk you up, but strangely enough, the last place you have a desire to go to, is back to God. 

Or maybe you don't know what I'm talking about since you've never experienced a close, living relationship with God or this whole Jesus thing does not make sense to you. Either way both these avenues lead to the same place of frustration and emptiness. 

Normally, I know that I'm in a place of "dryness" if I have this unquenchable craving for movies, or I just really feel like going out to buy something. Or I wonder around on-line to find something interesting that will entertain me. (EERRrrr!! Bad mistake. That's the worst thing to do…)

For other people it could be Work. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Porn. Food. Adrenaline. - Anything that could give you a high. But the problem with a high, is that it comes with a low. It never lasts. The euphoria from buying a new car or getting an award for work has a half-life of one day. That means the next day I remember it, but the feeling is gone. And the day after, I don't even remember it. Before you know it you're on to looking for the next fix...

In an interview I did with Dr William Struthers for the Scratching the Surface Documentary, he explains this human process very clearly. In his mind, man was created with a clear need for intimacy.

Looking at Bible, I believe it's the same in God's mind…

"Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth,” (Gen. 1:26, NASB).

In Gen 3:8 God is coming to be with Man in the Garden.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8, NASB)

From Genesis I gather these two reasons for our existence:

  1. God created us to have a living, intimate relationship with Him.
  2. To represent Him as ambassadors on earth.

Reading this, I'm reminded of Jesus's words when he responded to the Pharisee's question on the most important commandment: "The first commandment is to LOVE YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, MIND AND SOUL. And the second is LOVE EACH OTHER AS YOURSELVES." (Mat. 22:34-40). These co-incide with number 1 and 2 where 1: Loving God is all about an intimate relationship, and 2 is about taking on His character towards others as a representative of how He loves us. 

The interesting thing about Porn, is that it destroys both of these mandates with one blow… This will become more clear in the following discussions.

So, what is the answer to the dryness then? The only thing that really fulfills me without having a 'down' is being in God's presence. Worshipping Him. Thanking Him for anything I can find an excuse for. Talking to Him and giving Him time to speak to me.

Reading from the Bible is like food to my soul. I can't explain it. But it fills me up.

(Mat 4:4 NIV) Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

The first step in being free from Porn, is to fill the "dry" gap that screams for it.  But we can only fill it effectively with what that gap was really made for from the beginning: To be One with God, through Jesus and His Spirit. And to allow Him to live through us.